We've Never Been Where We're Going
15 September 2004
When I moved to California
in 1979, my parents and I drove out together. We did the usual drive-by
vacation, but as I sat in the back seat I watched the earth as we
passed by. Oklahoma impressed me most, with soil the color of cherry
pie. As we approached the Grand Canyon, I prepared myself for a quick
stop. Sure enough, we stayed for 15 minutes or so at the North Rim
pull-off. My father was too sick to get out of the car and walk around,
and Mom was always tentative about doing things he couldn’t. My cat,
Luna, was in her carrier in the back seat with me. I picked up the box
and walked with Luna to the rim. I opened the door to her carrier. She
stepped out for a moment, got the message that it was a long way down,
and stepped back in again. I just stood there, luxuriating in the
extensions of time and space in all directions. I would give a lot for
a moment like that again. When I got back in the car, my dad said,
“We’ve never been where we’re going.” All the while I was thinking,
we’ve never been here, but I held my peace. He was right, at a
metaphysical level. We’ve never been where we’re going. All of it –
every time, every place, every day – is novel.
Tonight, I sit here biting my hands, wondering about where we’re going.
When I freak out with my husband over the coming election, he assures
me that it isn’t the end of the world if W. wins. But for me, there is
just a yawning blackness where all sorts of nightmares are lurking. I
see the fall of empires, the change of climate unabated because of
human short-sightedness (hello, Ivan; hello, Hummer), the attenuation
of personal liberty, the extinction of wild salmon, the falling of
trees. Most of all I see the bad guys winning – the guys who lied to
us, whose particular interests led thousands to their deaths and
validated the rest of the world in their belief that Americans are
greedy bastards who don’t care about global anything.
I asked a friend tonight, why do people want to reelect this guy W. and
his gang? The wars have gone wrong – nobody got freedom or democracy,
and a lot of caskets came home. The economy is not better – folks are
still out of work and Medicare and Social Security are dead ducks for
us Boomers. The terror threat hasn’t gone away – normal people in far
places have transformed into radicals in response to their perception
of our arrogance and meddling. The administration hasn’t become
fiscally “conservative” – we have the highest deficit ever. Farmers in
the heartland are planning to vote for the man who defends the
interests of the companies that patent seeds and sue those farmers into
whose fields they have drifted. Women sit in dread of the return of the
rusty coat hanger as the way out of an unwanted pregnancy – one they
might have avoided had sex education not turned into a lecture on
abstinence. No, folks, it isn’t a Christian country – it’s a country
where Christians came to find religious freedom. Constitutional
conservatives should be biting their hands over the concatenation of (a
very narrow flavor of Christian) church and state.
It’s a strange day when Justice Scalia is the voice of reason on the
Supreme Court – and with three new appointments waiting for the next
President, Scalia may well be the out-lyer – because he seems unwilling
to compromise the Constitution despite the Administration’s claims to
absolute ownership of the souls who wait in darkness at Guantanimo Bay
and all the other prisons this regime has conjured up. Screw the
Constitution and screw the Geneva accords, this is “wartime” (but of
course, “wartime” was just the sort of extreme that made us put our
ethics in writing in the first place). Prison abuse, disregard for
habeas corpus, unwillingness to engage in the attempts of global
civilization to hold up human rights or the health of the planet –
these things seem to be making no difference to the American
electorate. It’s hard to believe in America when Americans seem so
obtuse.
Then there’s the Vietnam flap that has eclipsed everything else about
our election in the American press. On the one hand, I just want to
scream, “look at the issues!” On the other hand, I want to engage this
argument, because I lived through it and I have an opinion. When I gave
the commencement address at Cal State Monterey Bay in 2002, I alluded
to the Vietnam war protests with some pride in the success of the
American people when we finally made it stop. At the reception
following graduation, the acting mayor of Pacific Grove bearded me. “I
always wanted to meet Jane Fonda,” he sneered. I tried to explain that
those of us who worked against the war were working for the troops, not
against them. I wanted my friends to come home whole and I wanted my
country to behave honorably. Then, and now, it was a hard and muscular
thing to be a patriot. John Kerry knows this better than I do.
Many’s the time I’ve delivered myself of opinions on things I knew
nothing about. But when I look at John Kerry’s attempt to speak truth
to Congress after his tour of duty in Vietnam, I see somebody who knew
firsthand what he was talking about. As history has worked itself out,
he was right. We didn’t know what the hell we were doing in Vietnam.
The boys were doomed to fight in a war with no plan to win and no exit
strategy. When the choppers lifted off the American embassy – finally,
after millions of us had marched in the streets – they left the corpses
of a lot of American soldiers – a lot of my friends - behind. John
Kerry spoke truth to power, and the powers that were are the powers
that be, and the voice of truth is still trampled by their
authoritative denunciations.
Give me a brave person – brave enough to show up and brave enough to
speak truth about it – and I am content with that person’s courage and
integrity.
I hear that most folks who are on the fence are afraid to change horses
in midstream. I ask you folks, if any of you are reading this, how
could it get worse? Could “reconstruction” in Iraq get worse? Could the
hopes of elections in Afghanistan get worse? Could our fear of
terrorism here get worse – especially if the structure and processes of
the intelligence community continue to give us abysmal failures? Could
our profile abroad or our ability to deal with the rest of the world
get worse? And where is your tax break, exactly? I haven’t seen mine
yet. And I have $53 bucks in the bank – not exactly one of “the rich.”
And what could get better with new leadership? Our economy? The
effectiveness of our foreign policy? Our profile to those who are not
Americans? The future of our aging generations? Our sense of hope? Turn
off the television, read a few newspapers, and THINK a little bit -
before you forget how. If public education continues on its current
path, we can be fairly confident that that particular risk will be
eliminated in the next generation. Critical thinking isn’t one of those
things that our students are measured on by those great new tests.
Critical thinking has no value in terms of today’s governmental
measures of success. Are we surprised? Hell, no – critical thinking
would be the end of the slick power of the media. Critical thinking
would dismiss Carl Rove as a second-string Roman-Empire wannabee.
We’ve never been where we’re going before. But we have seen the faces
of the current leadership of America. They are not going to change, and
they are not going to help us scramble back up out of the chaos of the
last four years, because they don’t want to. Why should they? They are
taking care of their interests well with their existing strategies.
People are scared enough to continue voting for them, and the petro-war
economy continues to make them rich. The risk to our country is so much
greater if we retain them than if we let them go. And the hope is so
much greater if we start afresh with courageous, honest people at the
helm.
A word about representative democracy. The key of it is, we don’t vote
for a person for their particular opinions on every little thing; we
vote for a person on the basis of their honor and the quality of their
judgment. Within the checks and balances of the Congress and the
Courts, we give ourselves unto the care of those we deem to be wise,
brave, honest, and of good moral character. Hell, I might even forgive
Arnold his Hummer because he’s shown pretty good judgment on things
that matter – the environment, education, human rights. (I say, I
might, Arnold – but you’d look so BIG in a Prius.)
If the current administration is re-elected, well, maybe it won’t be
the end of the world. But I have the feeling that we will have passed
some point of no return as a country, as an idea, as an empire. An
empire goes down in arrogance, corruption, greed, and lies. The people
awaken, if at all, when it is far too late to change the course of
affairs. I don’t want America to be over.
When I was a senior in college in 1972 I got quoted in the yearbook
from an editorial I wrote in the DePauw newspaper. That quote got me
dissed by nearly everyone at DPU. It was a time when good friends were
shipping out to Vietnam and some were dying, when I was working with
lefty political groups that were not quite far enough left to be left
enough, doing agit prop theatre about the war and voting for the grape
boycott on the Student Senate. I and my cohort were trying in our own
corn-fed Midwestern way to take our country back. Then, as now, it was
hard to be a patriot. Can you guess my offending quote? It was,
“Believe in America.”
I still do. |