Scripts from the Cobra Lounge
Written by Spoonman (Mark Petrakis)
Performed by Brenda Laurel
SNAKE GODDESS
3/6/93
Script for Cobra Lounge
by Spoonman, a.k.a. Mark Petrakis
9A. TRANSITION:/ COBRA WOMAN (SNAKE GODDESS SCENE)
( COBRA WOMAN, ON STAGE, READING FROM A STORY BOOK TO THE FOUR SPOONKIDS. THE SPOONKIDS ARE ALEXIS PETRAKIS (T-SPOON), MAMIE RHEINGOLD (MINNIE-SPOON), HILARY HULTEEN (DEMI-TASSY) AND BROOKE HULTEEN (BABY SPOON). THE KIDS WOULD BE DRESSED IN SPOONMAN-DERIVATIVE DRESS-POWERLESS PAWNS TO THE WHIMS OF THE OLD MAN.)
COBRA WOMAN: The modern day Cobra Woman traces her roots back into pre-history, to the time of the first plantings and harvestings. But it was not until the rise of the ancient Minoan civilization, on the island of Crete, in the middle of the Mediterranean sea, that the worship of our first ancestor, the Snake Goddess, took a form recognizable to us today.
In Ancient Crete, at the grand palace of Knossos, during the time when the fame of their women bull-dancers was reaching its peak, there appeared in and around the palace; groups of women, women of exceptional power, intelligence, and influence. These women listened with a growing interest to the various stories and legends that were brought daily to the palace by traders and sailors, from far off lands. As they listened to these marvelous tales, these bull-dancing, opinion-making women of Crete noticed how each one mirrored so closely, the legends attributed to their very own ancient and sacred Snake goddess. And the more they heard, the more they realized, that their Snake Goddess was worshipped not only on their beloved island, but all across the then known world.
So, did the women of Crete begin to pass down in earnest, to their children, tales of the magical snake goddess who brings strength and wisdom to young children, who are so often underfoot, and are so sometimes regarded as an annoyance by the tall, the self-important, and the stupid.
After all, wasn't it the snake goddess who gave the athletic women of Crete their ability to compete side by side with the men? Sure it was. The Snake Goddess was not the daughter of some spoon-heavy Jehovah burgerhead. She wasn't the daughter of anybody. The Snake Goddess was and is a two-fisted poison-headed mother with a profound sense of justice. Justice, with a vengeance you might say. And to those who think they could stamp out her influence, by stamping down hard on her head... What does she say?
THE SPOONKIDS: (GETTING SOMEWHAT EXCITED) "Don't mess with the Snake Goddess!!!"
9B. BRENDA LAUREL
(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(* BRENDA APPEARS *)*)*)*)*)*)*)*)*)*)*)*) IN A MYSTERIOUS BLUE AND ROSE LIGHT, DRESSED AS A MINOAN SNAKE GODDESS.
SNAKE GODDESS (BRENDA): That's right, children. And where in the world does the snake goddess rule? T-Spoon?
T-SPOON (ALEXIS PETRAKIS): Any damn place she wants to.
SNAKE GODDESS: That's right. And what does the Snake Goddess do when threatened by the big nose of moralizing wankers? Minnie-Spoon?
MINNIE SPOON (MAMIE RHEINGOLD): Kick some serious butt?
SNAKE GODDESS: And what do we do with good human beings who get the picture, and make life beautiful for the Snake Goddess? Demi-Tassy?
DEMI-TASSY (HILARY HULTEEN): We love 'em to death.
SNAKE GODDESS: Almost to death, Demi-Tassy, almost to death. As long as there is hope, we keep them around. We must never lose a sense of... of what T-Spoon?
T-SPOON: Kindness and generosity.
SNAKE GODDESS: Yes, but kindness and generosity are not enough in and of themselves. What else does the Snake Goddess bring with her. Baby spoon?
BABY SPOON (BROOKE HULTEEN): Inscrutable intelligence!
SNAKE GODDESS: What was that, again?
BABY SPOON: Inscrutable intelligence!
SNAKE GODDESS: All together now!
EVERYONE: Inscrutable intelligence!
SNAKE GODDESS: Exactly, inscrutable intelligence. Why else would we invent such a powerful goddess, if not to invest her with the best of human qualities, so that we may all shine brighter through time and across great distances. What good does it do us, to devise new ways of saying things, if all we are saying is stupid old nonsense, re-hashes of inane thinking that didn't work then and doesn't work now. Prejudice, small-minded hatreds, confusion, and misogeny. What do we do when we encounter these demons, what do we do?
(ALL THE GIRLS RISE UP AS SNAKES DO INTO AN ATTACK POSITION.)
SNAKE GODDESS: That's right, good, we rise up. And then what do we do?
SPOONKIDS: We pull out the fangs!
SNAKE GODDESS: That's right, we pull out the fangs!
SPOONKIDS: (EXCITEDLY DANCING ABOUT) Don't mess with the Snake Goddess!! Don't mess with the Snake Goddess!!
(THEY EXIT TAKING COBRA WOMAN WITH THEM, LEAVING THE SNAKE GODDESS ON STAGE ALONE. SHE MOVES AS IF TO DEPART THEN STOPS AND LOOKS BACK AT THE CROWD.)
SNAKE GODDESS: Remember to keep track of your compromises. One too many and you become suddenly expendable. There is no safety net in advertising, and public opinion only measures limp frustration. The Tower has fallen, and powerful new weapons are being grabbed by hands with nothing to lose. Among this rowdy crowd, new consumer trends could turn downright revolting.
Remember, the best entertainment is the entertainment you make for yourselves. No soft porn Madonna hard copy can match a hot kiss. May your pleasures be many and your troubles be few.
Build the world as a nest for the children. Pay close attention, least the moment come and find you all too ready to compromise one more time, not with your fate, no; but with the fate of those children. The powers that run deep in the earth, will not let such a compromise go unchecked. And neither will I?
(SHE EXITS THROUGH CURTAIN.)
SEVERED HEADS
6/24/94
Script for Cobra Lounge
by Spoonman, a.k.a. Mark Petrakis
COBRA WOMAN: (W/ SPOONKIDS) (READS FROM A BOOK) "Early on, there appeared along the curving shores of the River Nile, powerful shimmering structures. These were meant to serve as all day and all night reminders of devotion to the power of the river. And from among such devotees, early snake women chose mates for pleasure and/or procreation. Factors that later influenced the choosing, such as wealth and social position gradually reshaped the gene pool of the givers of devotion, until they became entirely too full of their own self-importance, thus stirring up headaches that skewed the direction of progress to this very day. As devotion turned to possession, and the giving of pleasure turned to the taking of pleasure, where it wasn't offered, women of the serpent power had to take up arms in the battle." That's where we are today, girls, ready to attack, ready to defend, ready to love, whatever the case may be, we are prepared. Make your move, sucker! Right?
SPOONKIDS: (MIMIKING HER GESTURES.) Right! Make your move sucker!
(BRENDA AS HASH HEESH APPEARS AND CW GOES INTO CONVULSIONS AND COLLAPSES.)
(HER NAME IS HASH HEESH. SHE IS THE JABBA THE HUT OF FEMALE SITDOWN COMICS. A GONE TO SEED TURKISH HASH SMOKER, SHE PACES AROUND, OCCASIONALLY ADJUSTING HER DARK GLASSES. SHE TELLS THE LITTLE SPOONKIDS WHAT HAPPENS IN THE WAR BETWEEN GOOD AND BAD. SHE ALSO HAPPENS TO BE A KARATE MASTER, THOUGH SHE NEVER HAS TO PROVE IT. THE SPOONKIDS GATHER AROUND HER.)
HH: Just because the good often loses doesn't mean it's bad. Just because a great many people think something is good one day, doesn't mean that an even greater number of people won't think it's bad the next. Popularity and Integrity are very different things. Anyone can tell you what's popular. Nobody can tell you what's good. It's all a game, and we are the players. There are rules, general agreements, but no absolutes. It's only how you play that counts. And how do we like to play it, TeaSpoon?
T-SPOON: For the guts, Grandma.
HH: . . . and the what, Maxie Spoon?
MAXIE-SPOON: And the Glory!
HH: Right, and sometimes the way is blocked, no getting through. What do we do, SilverSpoon?
(SILVERSPOON (HILARY) RAISES HER ARMS IN A COWL LIKE FASHION. OTHERS FOLLOW SUIT.)
HH: And what is the message that we send?
SPOON-KIDS: Don't mess with the snake goddess!! Don't mess with the snake goddess!!
HH: Correct, and if they let us pass, then what do we do, X-mas Spoon?
X-MAS SPOON: We leave them in peace.
HH: And, if they don't let us pass, then what do we do? T-Spoon?
T-SPOON: After a reasonable period of discussion and waiting, if they haven't allowed us to pass, we smack 'em.
HH: Right, and how hard do we smack em, Maxie Spoon?
MAXIE SPOON: We smack 'em silly!
HH: And what picture do we want them to get?
(THEY ALL GO INTO POSITION. RAISED ARMS/ COWL)
HH: And if that picture could talk, what would it say?
SPOONKIDS: Don't mess with the snake goddess! Don't mess with the snake goddess!
HH: Right, and if you do this, your pictures will always be powerful, and others will sense the strength of your presence, and they will let you pass. Remember, your pictures are your art, and your art is your heart, and no one knows what it means better than you.
MAXIE SPOON: Yeah!
HH: What'd I say!?
SPOON-KIDS: (SNAPPING THEIR FINGERS, WAVING THEIR ARMS, AND SINGING THE REFRAIN) Your pictures are your art and your art is your heart.
(IN THE BLACKGROUND, BLACK DRESSED DANCERS MOVE MONITORS AND PUT THEM ONTO PEDESTALS, LIKE THEY WERE PUTTING SEVERED HEADS ON STICKS. THIS INSTALLATION CAME IN AT INTERMISSION.)
HH: Keep that picture in your head. Save it. Entitle it "New 911", and remember... there's only two kinds of art, good and bad. And who decides which is which - Tea-Spoon?
TEA-SPOON: I do!
HH: Who does, SilverSpoon?
SILVERSPOON: I do!
HH: You are each responsible. It's up to you. You try to be fair. You listen, you watch. But if you judge it to be bad, what do you do, Maxie Spoon?
MAXIE SPOON: Rip off its head!
HH: Yes, rip off its head!!
(SPOON-KIDS ALL STAND UP, AND PICK UP THEIR DOLLS WITH DETACHABLE HEADS, THAT THEY HAVE BEEN CARRYING. THEY GO INTO FRONT OF BLUE SCREEN PUPPET DROP. THEY EACH ACT OUT RIPPING THE HEAD OFF THE DOLL IN THEIR OWN WAY. IT IS SEEN ON THE VIDEO "MONOTAURS".)
HH: And if people ask us what we mean by this? What do we do, SilverSpoon?
(SILVERSPOON RAISES HER ARMS INTO COWL. THE REST FOLLOW SUIT.)
HH: And if that picture could talk, what would it say?
SPOONKIDS: Don't mess with the snake goddess! Don't mess with the snake goddess!
HH: O.K. Beat it!
(THE SPOONKIDS DANCE OFF, DRAGGING COBRA WOMAN'S BODY. HH GETS UP AND COMES DOWNSTAGE.)
HH: Just a word of warning. When those kids grow up, and they look back on this time, do you think they'll be at all confused on the difference between art and crap? Uh-huh. You don't have to be a genius to know the difference, not if you trust yourselves enough to admit what you already know. And if you don't, why should we care? There are dogs that are smarter than that. Mostly, because they listen better. They're less distracted. So, take the time to enjoy being with other human beings. All good things spring from that. Understanding, empathy, pleasure. All forms of devotion. You give that to me, or to anyone, and I guarantee, you'll get it all back, in spades.
(SHE RAISES HER ARMS/ COWL/ MUSIC CRESCENDOS/ SHE EXITS IN A CLOUD OF SMOKE.)